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About Varied / Hobbyist Specializing in elegy, dry painting, and mass insanityFemale/United States Groups :iconga-fanclub: GA-Fanclub
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Deviant for 5 Years
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Newest Deviations

Marilyn Manson in Pastel for General Bunny Manson by ZeliaVanYaster Marilyn Manson in Pastel for General Bunny Manson :iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0 Scene 2: Seeing Eye (Closeup) by ZeliaVanYaster Scene 2: Seeing Eye (Closeup) :iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0 Scene 2: Seeing Eye by ZeliaVanYaster Scene 2: Seeing Eye :iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0 Scene 1: Dusty Rose (After/Closeup) by ZeliaVanYaster Scene 1: Dusty Rose (After/Closeup) :iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0 Scene 1: Dusty Rose (After) by ZeliaVanYaster Scene 1: Dusty Rose (After) :iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0 Scene 1: Dusty Rose (Before) by ZeliaVanYaster Scene 1: Dusty Rose (Before) :iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0
The Letters of K and A - #1
First and foremost, I want to apologize for my rude behavior. I haven't been myself lately. I feel lost, confused, torn apart. But I wish you the best of fates. Keep in mind, young one, you are strong. Always have been, and always will.
I've been tormented by my own dark thoughts. They haunt everyday, and I lash out at people because of it. I'm sorry, I truly am. I don't know what comes over me that makes me act the way I do. I can't guarantee I will always act like a gentleman, but I will always apologize when I've done wrong to you.
Recently I have seen you wandering the garden by yourself. Do you always do that? I'm sorry, it's not my place to be asking you that, but I wonder. For your own safety and well being of course. Perhaps you should find some friends, if you don't mind me saying. Even your cousin, Loth, would be a good companion for you.
Be safe, be strong, be happy.
Yours truly,
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0
Long Live the King! (Part One)
Deep in the Castle of Nickautoy, X'eizan, there is a cold wind that blows through the corridors. There are secrets that have remained hidden for centuries. There are curtains and tapestries and painting on the walls. The halls have long since been abandoned, but deep in the castle, there is the sound of music. Lonely, but beautiful tunes. Deep in the shadows a figure moves and cries…softly…sweetly…

It was a cold day, we left just around noon and got to…what was left of the castle about three or four. At first sight it took my breath away. It was a complex building with intricate details that at one time must have been a brilliant scene to see. "Wow…" I said, gazing out the car window in wonder.
"Yes," Grimlock smiled. "It truly is beautiful, isn't it, Anya?"
We were here to find the last King of X'eirzan's journals, hopefully. We had to find out what he wrote before he died if we were going to be able to save Thia the same fate Gothica and X'eirzan suffered. The king had keep
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 1 0
I Am
"I Am"
Written by my inner peace
I am a lost soul,
Waundering the thin line between Heaven and Hell.
My right wing has been long torn, burnt, and sacraficed to their "gods."
I am
A stranger to the world,
Walking amoung You.
I am
The one no one really cares about,
The Goth,
The Nerd,
The Crazy,
The Lonely.
Do you understand?
I am
The one you throw away.
Feel my pain,
Feel the terror
Of being in this torment.
I am the one who feels the burn
Of their cigarettes on my skin,
Laughs of those around me.
I am
The one who always seems to screw up.
I am
Your Fallen Angel,
Your Gaurdian Angel,
The One Winged Angel.
I stand in the shadows,
Watching the world,
Sick and yet aching to be One with you.
I am the outcast.
But I would rather be hated for who I am,
Than loved for who I'm not.
I would rather They torment me
Than let myself give in the their desires.
Burn my wing!
Scar my flesh!
Whisper as many insults as you like!
I will never break for you again.
I Am.
I Am.
I Am ME.
And that's all I
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 2 1
Sinners (Part One)
Sinners. We are all born as one. We come into this world as screaming, crying creatures riddled with sin in our souls. Sometimes I sit on my wing chair in the study and look out at the world on a cold grey day. I look at those creatures wandering the streets and laugh. I laugh at them. Them and the tragedy of it all. Yes, we are sinners, but it was not always this way. We were made as creatures of such gentleness – caretakers of creation. We were holy and one with God, and then one of us went and ate the Forbidden Fruit.
And that was the undoing of us all.
Sometimes I sit, right in my chair, and stare out at those people. I think of how stupid they all are that they don't realize the true nature of their ways. It seems to me that they just can't seem to accept the truth; such is the way of conceited, self-absorbed people. Aren't we all? Well regardless, I have come to terms with it.
I sit there, staring out at them. Maybe that's why they think I'm crazy. Well I'll tell you right now, I
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0
Home Again
So I missed a couple doses,
I didn't mean to.
Sometimes I just forget.
But it doesn't matter,
It's good to have you home again,
Right by my side.
So I have to deal with those who whisper in my ear -
Mean things,
Cruel things,
Commands I must not obey.
But it doesn't matter,
It's good to have you home again,
Right by my side.
And though they hate me,
And wish me dead,
And love to toy with me like a doll,
I have you.
And that's all that matters.
So I'm feeling lost in life,
And it's hard sometimes to see the light,
And handle my anger and hate.
So I feel angry at everything sometimes,
And I just want everyone to leave me alone,
But want them all round me at the same time.
It doesn't matter,
Because I have you,
You're home again and mine forever.
You're right by my side -
My Gaurdian Angel.
Welcome home.
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 7 1
This is What It Feels Like
Sing for the moment,
Or don't sing at all.
Speak now,
Or forever hold your silence!
Skin turning red,
Blotchy and bleeding
From their abuse.
Old scars now,
Dark and light spots
Where I used to pain.
Light shines through the clouds now,
My only worry is my control.
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 7 0
Cupcake by ZeliaVanYaster Cupcake :iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0
Forgive Me Father (Prayer)
Forgive me father,
For I have sinned.
My heart is weak, as you know.
Forgive me father,
And give me strength,
Make me like a rock,
For you to carve or build upon by Your will.
Teach me love, and hope,
And how to pray –
Teach me the way.
For I am but a little lamb,
And you are my Shepherd, O Lord God,
And nothing shall I want more than You.
Forgive me father,
For I have strayed from The Path,
Forgive the sins which I have committed blindly.
Forgive me father,
Cleanse my soul,
And make me more like Your Son,
Jesus Christ.
Lead me to heaven,
And receive my soul with open arms,
For I long to return to you.
Let me fall not
Into the realm of the Devil
And keep me from all Evil.
For I believe in You,
I trust in You.
You have not left my side since the day of my birth,
By Your Holy water You have wiped away my Wounds,
Guild me,
Take me to the road which shall lead me to Your side.
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 5 1
Say You're Coming Home (Poem)
You left in the dead of night,
So I wouldn't have to see you leave.
But the mistake you made,
Was kissing me goodbye,
I woke up and saw you with a your bags
About the head out the door.
I bolted up and grabbed your wrist,
"Where are you going?"
There was that look in your eyes,
Like you'd been caught in the worst crime.
And knew there was no way of getting out of this one.
"Go back to sleep, Anya," you said in a hushed voice.
"Where are you going?" I demanded in panic.
"Away," you said, "to keep you safe."
"For how long?"
"I don't know."
"Promise me something, say you'll come back.
Say you'll come home!" I begged,
But you only stared at me with those stern, sad eyes.
"Komakasi, please--"
"I'm sorry, Anya, but I have to go."
And that was the last I saw of you.
Why did you have to leave?
Why couldn't you stay?
I keep asking myself these questions,
Each time I think of you.
And now I sit here
With a knife in my hand,
Holding it to my arms,
Ready to bleed.
I want to cut,
But your last note
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 2 0
Opal - Chapter Two
The next morning I awoke to the bright sun shining in my eyes, blaring my vision as my eyes slowly opened. It wasn't long before I also noticed that the window itself was open, letting in the sounds and smells of the city.
Morning air and the slightest touch of car fumes rose from the town and into my bedroom, wrapping around me in my half-sleep and urging me out of bed. "I'm up, I'm up…" I muttered to myself and sat up. The cold air chilled me in my tank top and shorts. Slowly, I stood and closed the window. When I turned around I saw that a crinkled peace of paper was on my dresser. A number of some sort was scrawled on it. What—
Oh. I remember.
It was from that girl at the bar. I had copied the number down on a napkin and shoved it in my pocket before I left last night. No, no, no, I had to stop thinking about her. I had to do something to keep my mind off of her. A walk would do the trick, it was only six, and the sun was barely up. If I got dressed quick I could go down
:iconzeliavanyaster:ZeliaVanYaster 0 0

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When I look at this photo I automatically think of a book or novel where the character is running from someone in the woods. The eyes a...

by zardo

The lighting gives this piece a feeling of mystery and drama, but also makes the mood dark - like that of the horror genre. The buildin...



Dang, I guess I've been so caught up in life I forget to update stuff... O.o

Links to my new stuff...…

Have fun :)

Journal History


Specializing in elegy, dry painting, and mass insanity
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I love music, art, and writing. Most of my stories involve horror and romance of some kind. Often I use my art to express my inner struggles. One of my goals is to become a fictional novelist, but I'm also a musician and poet.

I'm still trying to find myself in the world...

Personal Quotes: "Life is a melodrama"

"The ebony spirit that haunts my dreams, is a gift from the twisted mind that is me."

"Not who, what."



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Knuklez Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Hey man, how's it going?
Zaellrin Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013  Professional General Artist
Hey girl! It has been a long time and I just thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing! So many people have vanished! Hope life is well!
General-BunnyManson Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for the watch :)
TheWaffleNator Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Interface Designer
Sorry this is REALLY late, but thank you so much for the watch! <3
SofiaGirl121 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fave!
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